77. This was one of the quickest ways there was to send a message from one person to another. I mean, no matter how amazing our lives are, there's always something to complain about. Over The Phone or On The Phone Which is Correct? 26. But, if they were, it would be a valid reason for them taking so long to reply. Great, because my name wasnt in todays obituaries. I wrote him a cheque for it, post-dated of course. Chic Murray (comedian), When I die, I hope to go to heaven, whatever the hell that is. Ayn Rand (author), The only difference between death and taxes is that death doesnt get worse every time congress meets. Will Rogers (actor), "My grandmother was a very tough woman. I hear good things; however, you should never listen to rumors. Follow us on Instagram Facebook Twitter Pinterest and we promise, well be your lucky charm to a beautiful love life. Rita Rudner (comedian), "When I die, I want my body to be donated for research, but more specifically, to a scientist who is working on bringing dead bodies back to life." 14. Real may recognize real, but real also recognizes thoughtless people who don't deserve your time. You win the internet. "I'll get back to you once I'm back from my long-awaited trip to the fridge.". You do the work of three men: Larry, Moe, and Curly. [Read: How to be funny and make people love your company]. The following responses dont require wit, but do require a funny bone. 22. On a scale of one to punching someone in the face, I am at 7.5. I dont blame you, Ive had it up to my neck with annoying, repetitive, shallow everyday questions and I often respond with something funny, silly, or sarcastic to make it known. Use the opportunity to make a good impression. Its more likely that theyre just being a bad friend. 5. Joshua Burns, "Death is a delightful hiding place for weary men." Well, seeing as you care, how long do you have? Not even the fussiest, or clingiest person in the world would expect a dead person to reply to them. Now that is pretty f****** funny. The police? If you are in a coma, on the other hand, you are legally very much alive. Single is the new blackif that even makes sense! - Anonymous. There are nosy people everywhere! If corporate email language won't do it, nothing will. Its not my choice, but its still a choice. Otherwise, we would still be with them today. To read all future answers to your comment, please bookmark this page. I'm alive, whoa! Who told you that? Here are some of the most humorous replies to "How are you? It can be good to just say it how it is. Some people spend all their time on their phone. Holy s**t, you can see me?! 13. This one could be a funny or cute response to sorry for a late reply, based on how they take it. Call the police." 13 Quora User Because Jamaican me crazy! StyleCraze provides content of general nature that is designed for informational purposes only. 3. Unknown, "He was a great patriot, a humanitarian, a loyal friend . and our 2. Haha use this humorous response to make someone laugh-you never know, you just might brighten their day. Is your family tree a cactus? 90 Sarcastic Quotes for Witty Comebacks Full of Sarcasm - Quote Ambition While most of us answer with an uninspired I am fine, thank you, the universal greeting question how are you? If ignorance barrel prices go up, I want drilling rights to his head. Use them as you see fit when someone pokes their nose on your relationship status. 52. You don't need to miss them, because you are willing to travel to them, and kiss them. 2. Once youre dead, youre made for life. Jimi Hendrix (musician), Death will be a great relief, no more interviews. Katharine Hepburn (actress), Death is a delightful hiding place for weary men. Herodotus (historian), You know youre old when the candles cost more than the cake. Bob Hope (comedian), Some men are alive simply because it is against the law to kill them. EW Howe (author), There are more dead people than living, and their numbers are increasing. [Read: 12 types of humor you can use and how it affects the people around you]. 19. The content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. To text, most of us need our thumbs. 86. How much are you willing you pay me if I tell you? Because nowadays, the industry prefers singles over albums. "If it looks like I give a damn, please tell me. I play hard to get even if nobody is trying to get me. Here are some funny, witty, snarky, smart, and sarcastic responses to some of those annoying everyday questions its hard to avoid: I couldnt possibly cover all of the annoying everyday questions that are probably chipping away at you, but here are some of the most popular: Related 26+ Funny Responses to Being Asked on a Date (Replying Yes or No), Related 29+ Funny Responses to Compliments. Furthermore, he has teaching experience from Aarhus University. 63. Still Alive synonyms - 44 Words and Phrases for Still Alive . I didnt realize it at first, but I grew up and turned into a Squidward. Blogging about a wide range of topics to help facilitate a better future. At minding my own business? Great, but I should warn you that I am totally biased. 1. Even if life is rough, be happy that you're still alive. 76. I know youre nobodys fool, but maybe youll be adopted someday. Sarcastic response: Express the appropriate level of enthusiasm, then let this handsome, cheeky British man (aka Jimmy from You're The Worst) do the talking: 3. 101 Funny And Witty Responses To The Question "How Are You?" 83. 91. Stupidity isnt a crime. Youll never be even half the man your mother is. The answer to this question has become so generic it feels like there is an auto-complete machine in our heads! Could have been worse, right. He was a good OP, of impeccable character. When you're mad, but don't want to ruin your impression, this is a nice way to reply to your crush or match. Hmmph. I'm Not Sure How to Answer That!? 41. 3. Like "I am not a Sunday morning inside four walls with clean blood and organized drawers. Susan Winter, relationship expert, and bestselling author, This article was originally published on Dec. 15, 2020. 75 Witty and Funny Responses to "How Are You?" - Box of Puns *sips wine/tea*. Come on, now I want you to whisper that question slowly to my ear. Thats because I only enjoy long, romantic walks to the fridge. In reality, they are not cool, they are just rude. June 14, 2022; pros and cons of stem cell therapy for knees . But, whats the likelihood of that happening? You may also like: 30 Best Responses To An Apology For A Late Reply. If someone is going to ask you the same old everyday questions, I dont think Im being unreasonable when I say theyre probably just going through the motions and not really interested in your answer. (Use a sexy tone). Sure isnt my pay, Im still pretty broke. 95. 18. If you're taking a vacation and staying home, your clients or coworkers may still expect you to pop into the office and answer their emails. Not. I've Tried, but No One Listens, If I Was Any Better, Vitamins Would Be Taking Me, Better than I Was a Minute Ago, Because You're Here, Okay, Because My Name Wasn't in Today's Obituaries. And if they don't reply to this, you can walk the walk away. If someone clearly doesnt want to talk to you, the best thing to do is not talk to them. The 'Sex And The City' Cab Light Theory, Revisited, It's Hot When People Call You By Your Last Name, I Never Feel Older Than When I Try To Make A TikTok, Get Even More From Bustle Sign Up For The Newsletter. I have a feeling that my soulmate is somewhere out there pushing a pull door right now. Looks like I overestimated the number of brain cells you have. Every civilisation has its genesis and its conclusion. It doesn't mean that you don't actually take showers. That's boyfriend material. 5 Ways To Respond To Hey Stranger And Other Annoying Texts "You know I can do this anytime.". Steven Wright (comedian). Well, are you? It's all about confidence. We cant always get what we want now, can we? You nervously reply "yeah, but I'm a little busy and-", only for one person to reply "um, no one asked you. You just live. alive # dead meat # tremors # kill count # survived # reaction # united states of al # dean norris # unitedstatesofal # you only live once reaction # united states of al # dean norris # unitedstatesofal # you only live once 2. It depends on what or who I compare myself to. [Read: How to have playful banter and keep the flirting alive forever]. I was actually talking to my friend". Its good to see youre not letting education get in the way of your ignorance. Thats because I get about as much attention as a white crayon. Here's one to use when you're having a spectacular day. Why do you ask? Voice command: Alexa, open the pod bay doors. [Read: The step-by-step guide to being a funny person and make everyone love your company]. I had been dead for billions of years before I was born and had not suffered the slightest inconvenience. Mark Twain (author), Im not afraid to die, I just dont want to be there when it happens. Woody Allen (comedian), The leading cause of death among fashion models is falling through street grates. Dave Barry (author), Always go to other peoples funerals, otherwise they wont come to yours. Yogi Berra (baseball player), Im very pleased to be here. Could be better, though. Hemali is an ICF-Certified ACC Level Life Coach with 3 years of experience in relationship, marriage, and grief coaching. I dont chase them just to satisfy my sexual desires. Patrick Moore (astronomer), "Sometimes I wish my first word was 'quote' so that on my deathbed, my last words could be 'end quote.'" Im not ready to share my food with anyone yet. Your relationship status is your business alone (and your partners, if you have one). 9. That will ensure there will be at least one man who will regret my death. Heinrich Heine (author), Fear of death increases in exact proportion to increase in wealth. Ernest Hemingway (author), Its funny the way most people love the dead. You a cop? I dont feel that great, but look! I'm wondering how you are. (Say it like he or. 86 Funny and Flirty Responses To 'How Are You Doing?' - Monk at 25 Overwatch 2 Friendly Reminder To Leave a LIKE & SUBSCRIBE, ThanksJoin this channel to get access to perks:https://www.youtube.com/cha. Keep asking and maybe one day youll get a sensible answer. 1. You'll be asked how you are almost every single day, which is why you should add some humor to your answers. Its too small to be out there all alone. Thats the biggest joke Ive heard recently. 82. 19 Funny Texting Comebacks To Always Come Out On Top - TextGod.com Phil lives in England, UK, and has around 20 years experience as a professional life, career and executive coach. via: Pexels / George Pak. You are about as interesting as a documentary on dirt. If its better than yours Ill chalk it up as a win. 3. In reality, "How are you?" could be more than just a . Check out: Image credits Photo by Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash. 4. 94. You don't want others to assume that you feel as horrible as you look, so this is the way to set them straight. At the end of the day, if theyre not putting in the effort to let you know theyre not interested, theyre probably not worth your time. Your email address will not be published. Her sessions aim to bring about transformation in her clients lives, perspectives, and relationships. If theyre too busy to text you back, you need to be too busy to continue having them in your life, or on your social media. But, compared to messaging, pigeons are much slower. Paul Levesque (Triple H), pro wrestler & VP at WWE "It's funny now because I'm kind of in this weird kind of combo twilight zone of the last bits of my in-ring . Too early to say, it hasnt finished yet. Let them know that you're itching to go on a date. A truly stinging sarcastic response to I love you. Thinking of you not existing makes me want to masturbate. 2. I think I am doing alright. What is the most creative reply to, are you still alive? Haha basically a sassy way to say, "I'm still alive." The government? [Read: How to be a fun texter and make anyone laugh while reading your texts]. If I was any better, vitamins would be taking me. 5. Clever comebacks not only showcase your distastethey demonstrate your intelligence, too. 17. Totally fine! You want to make them laugh, not yell. Perfect for that BRB, shower text that they never BRBd to.

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